The Typical Finnish Drunk Guy

As part of the foreign student Orientation Sessions, Elizabeth and I were introduced to the concept of the Typical Finnish Drunk Guy. Older-middle-aged and a bit podgy, the TFDG has had a few too many cloudberry vodkas for his own good. He is overenthusiastic, but entirely harmless, and really just looking for a chat.

Needless to say, I wasn't really convinced. I mean, funny, okay. But did I really think I would run into one? (I mean, anyone who knows me knows what a heavy drinker I am. I pretty much live at the bars. (This is extreme sarcasm.))

It was still early morning and the snow was lightly falling when I left the flat to head down to the grocery store. Very much lost amongst thoughts of veggies and how best to tote home a good 50 lbs of bags, I stopped for a second in front of the carts to fish a coin out of my wallet, when suddenly I looked up to see a very pink, very excited guy gesturing wildly in my direction. I didn't think too much of it, and went back to digging in my coin pocket.

But he evidently had other ideas about how the encounter should go: striding forward, and pushing his own cart off to the side, he began speaking to me in very animated, very rapid Finnish. He seemed to think that I could use some help getting my coin into the cart (there's a very neat system here in which you chain your cart to another once you're done with it, and to release the chain, you have to insert a coin into a little box on the handle - and once you return the cart, you get your coin back), and so pulled out a coin of his own, made some enthusiastic gestures towards the cart with it, and then launched into an entirely new, faster conversation mode, shaking my hand no less than seventeen times.

And I had to laugh, because he fit the profile perfectly. Somewhere around 65, gray-haired, and a bit chubby, he smelled vaguely of alcohol and firesmoke. His cheeks were tinged bright pink, and he was very welcoming; despite my protests of "puhutekko englanti?" (do you speak English?), "kiitos! Moi moi!" (Thanks, bye!) and eventually "I don't understand!!," he seemed to actually be so much looking for a chat that he didn't really need comprehension, just an audience.

All in all, my first encounter with the TFDG was as promised: a bit startling, but harmless. He was quite a friendly guy, and obviously was very pleased to tell me whatever he was telling me, though I have no idea what, exactly, I was supposed to do with that information. He also gave me his cart, and therefore 50 euro cents.

(Though Elizabeth has already had an interaction or two with TFDGs of her own, she was absent from this encounter, since she's been hanging out in the flat keeping her leg propped up.)