Amazing Trip!

Border Formalities, which lasted an hour and included at least 5 passport control checkpoints. Luckily, our bus did not have to be x-rayed, which would have taken an additional three hours.

Church on the Spilled Blood- One of the most famous buildings in St. Petersburg and an easily recognizable landmark because of its distinctive onion domes in vibrant colors. The inside is decorated completely in mosaics and the church got its name because it was constructed on the location where Tsar Alexander II was assassinated.

Drink of the Gods.
Vodka, amaretto, sprite, orange juice and crushed raspberries, combined to make the best drink we’ve ever encountered. Its actual designation on the menu was Amore Mio, but we renamed it.

Eeenglish. What you hoped the Russian behind the food counter at the café spoke. In reality, very few people spoke more than a few words.

Freezing Cold. Despite St. Petersburg’s lower latitude, it nevertheless managed to be colder, drier and windier than Jyvaskyla.

Giant Fuzzy Hats. Yes, Russians do in fact wear giant fuzzy hats and manage to look serious while doing so. The guards at the border pulled this look off very effectively, minus one female guard with an 80s inspired purple scrunchie peeking out behind the hat.

High Heels. Never have we seen so many women in such high heels.

Isaac’s Cathedral, or Исаа́киевский Собо́р. This gold-domed Russian Orthodox church was created by Peter the Great in honor of his patron saint.

Jokes, Russian Reversals – If, in America, you do something, in Soviet Russia, the something do you. For example: in USA, you stalk on Facebook. In Soviet Russia, Facebook stalk you!! One of the most advanced pieces of literature in this genre is as follows:
Roses are red, violets are blue.
In Soviet Russia, poem write you!!
See here for more.

KGB- Which stands for Kindness Generosity Beauty, according to our tour guide. Though he did mention something about the “Committee for State Security,” now known as the FSB. Incidentally, the cannons on the Aurora Battleship, ship #1 in the Russia fleet despite its permanent docking, point directly towards a KGB building…

Lady with the Boob, who was our favorite landmark along Nevsky Prospekt (See N.) For some reason, despite the cold, her sculptor felt like it would be a good idea to leave her right boob uncovered. This lead to it becoming rusted and therefore rather eye-catching. After grabbing our attention on the first day, she became a way for us to judge how long it would take for us to get back to our hostel. Somehow she managed to nudge her rusty boob into our conversation every time we walked past.

Mystery Food – which was what we ate whenever we grabbed lunch in a café. Deprived of the luxury of an English menu, we were reduced to pointing and nodding at the items we thought looked yummy. Most of the time they were…

Nevsky Prospekt, one of the main streets in St. Petersburg, was conveniently also the location of our hostel. Being that Nevsky runs three miles in total length, we must have spent several hours total walking up and down it, to get to such landmarks as the Church on the Spilled Blood and the Winterpalace.

Overfriendly Roommate – We were proud of our foresight in having arranged a room with 4 girls we knew, thinking that it would ensure a relatively peaceful stay. To our surprise, several hours after arrival, a seventh guest was added to our all-female room. He – yes, he – not only snored, but thought he was much funnier than he actually was.

Palaces, Catherine’s. The first of the many palaces that we visited was the obscenely lavish and ornate summer residence of the tsars. The palace’s exterior is robin’s egg blue accented with white and gold and the interior is an eclectic mix of styles. The palace was extensively bombed during WWII and has now been renovated.

Questionable things include: people handing out flyers in the middle of the sidewalks, the sex shop sign that marked the entrance to our hostel, and a drunk student who sported a huge gash in his forehead and claimed he was attacked by Russians but in reality, he just fell down the stairs.

Rubles, which make us feel rich, seeing as 33 rubles are the equivalent of 1 USD. We spent quite a bit of time on our cell phones using the calculator function to judge the prices of food and souvenirs.

Sketchy Elevator. It clanged and grinded its rickety way up the 5 flights to our hostel. To get inside, you first had to open the metal outer door, then push in the two wooden doors. We really missed the comfort of Cherie Berry’s smiling face ensuring us that our elevator had passed a recent inspection.

Traditional Russian Dinner, complete with Russian folk musicians and instruction in Russian toasts and vodka etiquette.

Underground. St. Petersburg’s subway is the deepest in the world, not only to minimize disruption, but also so the stations could double as bomb shelters. We timed the escalator ride: 2 minutes and 17 seconds to go approximately 100 meters underground.

V is for Vodka, duh.

WWII was especially hard on St. Petersburg. The city, then known as Leningrad was besieged by Nazi Germany and Finland for 872 days, one of the longest and most lethal sieges of modern history, resulting in the death of over 1 million citizens. Many of the city’s landmarks and buildings were severely damaged by bombs, including most of its palaces and cathedrals. During restorations of the Church on the Spilled Blood years after the war, an un-detonated bomb was discovered under the right hand of Jesus in a fresco in a cupola.

X denotes Crosswalks, normally a white striped haven, but gives no guarantee of safety in Russia. Russian drivers follow one basic rule: stay the course, no matter the obstacles, human or car, in your path. If the obstacle is impassable, lean on your car’s horn until it moves.

Yusupov’s Palace. The mansion belonging to the richest family in Russian nobility, whose wealth surpassed even that of the tsars and also the location of the murder of Rasputin, the faith healer who held significant political influence despite his peasant background.




Zee End